Whatever you're facing...
Heaven Can Begin Now

Seek not to understand that thou mayest believe, But believe that thou mayest understand.

Augustine

For us, as for Jacob, fuller experience followed, an ever-growing awareness of Gods presence. Much of this growth - for me especially - has involved effort. Always happiest as a student, having sighted this wondrous realm, I seized on it as a subject for study. A rationale for attending lectures and filling scores of notebooks.

In the years since Marc Hall, John and I stepped into that chapel, I've sat at the feet of great Bible teachers, read hundreds of Christian books, gone on long retreats, followed a daily prayer discipline, visited the great pilgrimage sites of the faith. Mine was not a leap of faith like John's, but more of a crawl.

For me the chief point of resistance was the Apostles' Creed, that recital of ancient dogma in the face of logic, science, and common sense. Listening to the preposterous words at St. Mark's week after week, I could hear the voices of my family rising in protest. Mother's voice, perplexed. Aunt Helen's, indignant. My brother's and sister's, "You're not serious!"

To assent to the Creed, to recite it myself, would be to turn away from a heritage I treasured. I would alienate old friends, too, I knew, if I became an actual believer in these strange claims. Confessing the Creed would not mean, to me, lack of respect for other beliefs. But in choosing for myself a Christian worldview, I would open an unbridgeable gulf between me and many I cared most about.